| More scathing than a thumbs down, more inflamed than burning film
in an overheated projector—such are the reviews that Roger Ebert has
penned about bad movies. Collected here are more than 200 of his most
biting, sarcastic, and funny critiques, selected from those unlucky
movies that garnered a rating of a mere two stars or fewer. Roger
Ebert's I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie and Your Movie Sucks, which
gathered some of his most scathing reviews, were best-sellers. This new
collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were
at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath
the barrel. A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length
collects more than 200 of his reviews since 2006 in which he gave
movies two stars or fewer. Known for his fair-minded and well-written
film reviews, Roger is at his razor-sharp humorous best when skewering
bad movies. Consider this opener for the one-star Your Highness: "Your
Highness is a juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of
11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot,
boobs, and four-letter words. That this is the work of David Gordon
Green beggars the imagination. One of its heroes wears the penis of a
minotaur on a string around his neck. I hate it when that happens."
And finally, the inspiration for the title of this book, the one-star
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: Transformers: Revenge of the
Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length,
briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these
involves a doglike robot humping the leg of the heroine. If you want to
save yourself the ticket price go, go into the kitchen, cue up a male
choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and
pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination." Movie
buffs and humor lovers alike will relish this treasury of movies so bad
that you may just want to see them for a good laugh! |
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